Dr. Richard Ward

Change: a matter of fate or of planning?

Many people let change happen to them, rather than taking an active role in evaluating goals, planning ahead and taking the risks necessary to achieve goals and, possibly, upsetting the status quo.

Some people feel so scared of losing what they have that even tentative moves toward change frighten them. Others fear taking responsibility for making a choice, preferring to wait until life “forces” them to move, which displaces responsibility onto Life or somebody else. Many feel so badly about themselves and assume nothing they do will work out, instead sloshing around in the quicksand of Victimville, U.S.A.

On the opposite side, some people take action too quickly without the careful evaluation which makes change positive. An individual who moves from job to job, or mate to mate, may also be resisting taking responsibility for his or her choices in life. Others, wishing for things to be better, see the answer to their troubles in that new man, or new town.

Successful change requires knowing what you want, gathering relevant information, evaluating the risk involved, making a plan and then taking action. However, there is always a price for getting what you want. Are you willing to pay it? Do you know what it is? Also, if you see yourself repeating patterns that end in failure or bad feelings, you may need professional help.

Remember, there are no easy answers all the time, but inside, deep within your feelings, you can discover your true self – the one free from “shoulds,” “ought-to’s,” guilt, false beliefs and assumptions, devoid of delusions and illusions that, when listened to in silence, will show you your way.