Couples Therapy

Couples Need Own Time: Daily Demands can Take Marriage Toll

Frequently, one of the habitual problems regrettably told to me by spouses concerns a lackluster relationship. The romance and excitement that once characterized their relationship faded as family, domestic and business commitments tugged on their time.

Very often, couples in this predicament spend their best energy and time giving to other people and then wind up at the end of the day with nothing left for the spouse. The result is couples spend less and less quality time together replenishing and nurturing their relationship.

Quiet resentment and grievances, if unexpressed and not worked through, fester and infect the relationship. A pattern can then emerge and become entrenched, where spouses do not meet each other’s needs. The rest is not difficult to imagine. The remedy is to nip this in the bud. The honeymoon always wears off.

By planning for relaxed, uninterrupted quiet time together, couples can provide the environment to stroke the emotional coals that once burned so intensely. By making appointments with each other for nurturing, for sex, or for sharing, the relational fire will not go out.

One assignment I give couples is to agree to talk to each other for just 15 minutes per day about their feelings towards one another at the same designated time daily. If your marriage is in trouble, give these suggestions an opportunity to work.

For a marriage to meet the emotional, physical needs of the partners and children, It should be more than a well-oiled machine or a fully functioning business. Although business principles may apply, remember that your people and spouse are important.

Do you want to let fate take charge of your most important relationship, where a little TLC goes a long way?

Dr. Ward Is a Medical Hypnoanalyst, and a Organizational Consultant In a private practice In Pollock Pines, Ca.