To end it, or to attempt to renew it? Of any decision that stirs up human emotions, few run so deep and touch so much of a person’s inner being as that of whether to end a love relationship or try to renew it. Whether the love relationship is only romantic in nature, or whether it is marriage, whether it is of short duration of only days, or whether it is decades, there can indeed be a great deal over which to agonize in attempting to come to a decision.
Because love relationships are for the most part born of the human emotional nature, there can be far less objectivity in attempting to reach a clearly-defined decision as to whether to continue in a relationship or bring it to a close. So much becomes obscured by clouds of emotional confusion.
When one is caught up in the emotions of what is transpiring in a love relationship between oneself and another person, it is extremely difficult to discern what choice should be made. Even if a person begins to consciously realize that a love relationship should end, there may be other motivating factors that color or distort what is obvious and thus block what would ordinarily be quite definite, were it not for the emotional stress the person is experiencing.
Motivating factors that may be causing a fuzziness of judgment in regard to ending a relationship can include:
FINANCIAL – Individuals may feel that they should attempt to keep a relationship because they will suffer financially if they do not.
CHILDREN – Some people will attempt to retain a relationship, not wanting their children to undergo any emotional upheaval of security.
EMOTIONAL SECURITY – Many individuals feel more secure in a marriage or close-knit personal relationship, rather than facing life on their own.
APPEARANCES – People are overly-concerned with what others think of them, and that they will, in some ways, be judged negatively by others should the relationship end.
LONELINESS – Individuals may feel that it is better to face the hell of a difficult love relationship than run the risk of facing what they consider, at least for the moment, a worse hell, or loneliness.
SPIRITUAL – People have been brainwashed by negative religions to believe that divorce is a sin, and that it is better to subsist in a living hell and a waking nightmare, than to divorce.
With the exception of concern for one’s children, all of the above motivations for continuing a love relationship are negative. Even the focus on one’s children could be viewed as destructive, if one’s relationship has deteriorated to the point where the children are witness to a loveless war between two adults on a daily basis.
Most of the aforementioned reasons for wishing to retain a relationship stem from a lack of spiritual awareness.
- This lack promotes a state of mind in which people feel inadequate, or that they cannot deal with life on their own without the support of another person.
- This lack of spiritual self-sufficiency causes people to cling to love relationships that desperately need to be ended.
- Of course, people without such spiritual
awareness walk away from relationships, but
they can also take with them emotional scars
which may be a detriment in any future
relationships, or cause them to turn to negative escapisms, i.e., excessive alcoholic consumption, drugs, meaningless relationships, etc.
- Whether one is spiritually aware or not, it can still be painful to walk away from what, at one time, may have been meaningful.
The spirituality being spoken of here is not one of theology, but is rather in relation to one’s own personal, inner relationship to God within oneself.
The spiritual advantage is:
- One is not left with the emotional scars that might be present and thus negatively affect one’s future.
- This is because with spiritual awareness, there is greater understanding of what has taken place, and thus there is forgiveness that leaves the heart free to love again in a positive way, without any subconscious backlash from a previous relationship.
Psychic-Spiritual Causes of Love Relationships
“A marriage is made in heaven,” or “God has brought them together,” are two thoughts often uttered about a relationship, generally when it is new. Only a very few stand the test of time to truly validate such accolades.
When a love relationship reaches the point where a decision must be made regarding whether it should continue or not, one can search oneself for motivations, as previously discussed. In addition, the following can be considered if a person has come to some degree of spiritual self-understanding.
- The most common cause generally discussed in spiritual circles for a relationship is that of karma.
- Karma, which is the result or effect of actions or causes set into motion (in some instances, in other lives, or in the present), is usually credited with the forming of a relationship and its subsequent future.
- A difficult relationship is thought to be the result of what one or both people did, either to each other or to other people in this or other lives. It is believed that their present problems come from having to pay the price for anything negative done to either one another or to others.
- While this is the case in most difficult relationships, it is not so in all. On rare occasions a soul containing this negative karma may come into contact with a soul containing no such karma. The purpose is to undergo some degree of karmic cleansing as a result of exchanging energies with someone of a higher spiritual energy evolvement.
- Christ, who mixed with what might have been considered to be most of the rubble of his day, stated that he did so because he had not “…come to heal those who are well, but those who are in need of healing.”
- So we see that there are exceptions to every spiritual explanation of a metaphysical nature but only when a higher soul is in some way involved.
- In more highly evolved souls, the coming together in a love relationship in this lifetime could have been preplanned in a pre-physical plane, i.e., before incarnating into this one.
- Lesser evolved souls are drawn together by a Karmic Energy Law of Attraction without such preplanning.
- Highly evolved souls preplan because their love relationship, or their being together, is in some way connected to an ideal for improving human life.
- This motivation is not solely to indulge themselves in one another, which is the primary karmic energy motivation of lesser evolved souls.
- Such a relationship may or may not last a lifetime; the criteria being spiritual, or the underlying spiritual purpose needing to be served.
- In the cases of highly evolved souls, children choose their parents, and indeed the parents may participate in the choice in a pre-physical plane of existence, i.e., before both parents and children are born.
- Thus two souls may be brought together for the purpose of being vehicles for the birth of a high soul. Example: Mary and Joseph.
- In the cases of lesser evolved souls, the parents would be drawn to each other through unconscious karmic energy attraction without preplanning, although the children they attract may have some direct karmic tie to them.
- The life purpose of highly evolved souls incarnating through preplanned parents is not necessarily confined to serving others through the spiritual realm. It may also include science, politics, medicine, philosophy, music and the arts.
- Please note that like religion, involvement as a profession does not automatically qualify one for sainthood, since it is those few rare exceptions in every human endeavor, whether in religion, medicine, politics, etc., where light shines sufficiently to light the way for others.
- Two highly evolved souls may in some instances enter into preplanning their being together because they were made aware that God wishes them to be together for a definite purpose of serving humanity in some way.
From what has been discussed, we see that there can be abstract or spiritual reasons underlying some relationships, which should be taken into account when attempting to arrive at a decision as to whether to continue a love relationship or end it.
In addition, more obvious guidelines can be established from surface conditions existing between two people. The following are guidelines for arriving at a decision; the negative, to dissolve, and the positive, to renew.
- One list must be weighed against the other, along with taking into account how many conditions exist within each category.
- The weighing should not become an intellectual exercise, but rather (if at all possible) should be turned over to God within for intuitive guidance.
Stagnation – The relationship is stagnant despite efforts to end the lifelessness and create a sense of newness.
Differences – One or both parties will not meet the other at least halfway when attempting to settle their conflicts.
Strangers – One or both people feel like strangers, one to the other, even though attempts have been made to bridge the existing gap.
Isolation – One or both persons may feel alone, even though they are still in the relationship in terms of physical presence, and that although attempts have been made to resume closeness, they have failed to materialize results.
Indifference – One or both persons may feel alone, even though they are still in the relationship in terms of physical presence, and that although attempts have been made to resume closeness, they have failed to materialize results.
Distrust – Sufficient damage has been done by one or both people in regard to trust, so that it has become very difficult to be at peace with the other person.
Interests – Common interests that once seemed to result in mutual sharing have lost their appeal to one or both parties.
Sexual – Sexual communication is inadequate and not fulfilling to one or both people, although attempts have been made to improve.
Goals – Material, financial, and lifestyles do not coincide, and all attempts to unite on goals have not succeeded.
Non-Supportive – One or both parties is non-supportive of the other, either to the point of indifference on one hand, or chronic criticism on the other, regarding the partner’s accomplishments, appearance, mind, spiritual state, etc.
Unforgiving – One or both persons is either unable or unwilling to forgive, even though forgiveness and clearing the air is vital to the renewal of the relationship.
Dislike – It is possible to love someone, but not like the person, i.e., their nature. In keeping a relationship, liking is equally as important as loving, and in some instances, more critical than love, which can grow out of liking. The reverse, however, is difficult.
Secretiveness – If one or both people are aloof and distant, not being open to one another, no real relationship can exist.
Responsibility – One or both persons may possess unique and wonderful qualities, each in their own way, but may not really want the responsibility of a relationship.
Abusiveness – Either physical or extreme verbal abuse may exist, for which no solution has either been sought or found.
Alcoholic-Drug Addiction – The refusal of one or both people who may be addicted to seek out professional help, if all attempts to cure oneself have failed and/or the individual is unwilling to admit that there is an addiction.
Spiritual – The partners are widely split on their religious views and are not, after effort, able to reconcile them.
Supportive – Although there are strains on the relationship, both parties are generally supportive of each other, and communicate support to one another with sincere praise in regard to appearance, accomplishments, mind, spiritual, inner nature, sexual fulfillment, etc.
Forgiving – Although all is not perfect, what is not ideal can be handled in a spirit of forgiveness by both individuals.
Liking – Even though there may be tensions and stresses in the relationship, both people like one another as friends.
Giving – There is a willingness to give of oneself in spite of the difficulties being experienced, i.e., a giving in terms of time, effort, energy, resources, etc.
Openness – The parties are open and forthright, one with the other, even on subjects that may be sensitive.
Communication – Basic communication is still good on mental, practical and spiritual levels, even though the relationship is under stress.
Caring – Regardless of difficulties, there exists a deep caring about one another’s health, welfare, aims, goals and needs.
Practical – There is basic agreement on financial and material needs, goals and aspirations, together with corresponding lifestyle.
Sexual – This aspect of the relationship is good in spite of differences in other areas.
Spiritual – Views are shared, even though perceptions and opinions may differ on other matters, particularly in regard to the relationship.
- Renewing – Visualize yourself and your partner embracing in an aura of God’s Light as the Presence of Universal Love.
- Releasing – Visualize the other person walking away from you, and you surrounding them with an aura of God’s Love and light.
- Renewing – Picture yourself seeing the Love of God emanating from your heart to the other person’s heart.
- Releasing – Send the other person God’s Love, and in it enclose your own forgiveness (if need be) and best wishes for their future.
- “I am guided by the All-Knowing, All-Loving Presence of God within me, in arriving at the spiritually-correct decision in regard to my continuing or releasing my relationship.”